No Longer Trapped!
My Life Changing Story
felt fear. Continued sadness, unhappiness-feeling victimized, unsure,
and alone. I did not invite others into my life. I felt lifeless and
unappreciated. I felt a heaviness in my body that I carried with me. I
carried that heaviness with weight gain and I carried my stress along my
spine. I sacrificed myself with the choices I made. It felt as though I
had a black cloud following me wherever I went.
Stage One of My Healing Process:I did not like what I was seeing and feeling.
One day I made a decision that a change needed to come into my life. I
began reading self-help books. A small gradual change started. I began
to nurture myself. I began to make healthier food choices. I joined my
local YMCA. I gave myself what I felt I needed. For the first time in my
life my brain felt like a sponge, absorbing and wanting to learn more.
Stage Two of My Healing Process: I
took a chance and allowed a few people into my life. Still unsure and
feeling scared of the unknown. Not sure where I was going. Not sure
where this would all take me.
Stage Three of My Healing Process: I
had been working out regularly at the YMCA, but little did I know that
this would be the beginning of my life changing transformation. This day
would be different than the usual workout days on the treadmill. On
this day I was not aware that things would be different. I did my usual
30 minute workout on the treadmill, the treadmill slowed down then came
to a halt. As I was walking to the locker room, I noticed that the door
to one of the exercise rooms was open. I looked in as I was walking by
to see what class was going on. The instructor saw my daughter and I
looking in and he poked his head out and invited my daughter and I in.
He was the person that stepped into my life, with a clear invite to come
and join him. I followed my heart and took a chance. There was
something about him that kept drawing me near. His eyes spoke to me, as
though God was speaking through him. His heart felt pure. He was someone
I truly wanted to follow and I did. I attended his dance fitness class
regularly and then followed him to The Center for Contemporary Dance. It
was clear that this person was a dancer, and I wanted to learn how to
dance. I expressed my desire of wanting to learn how to dance and I
expressed the frustration I encountered as I had tried taking classes at
other locations and ended up frustrated. I knew I could learn how to
dance, I feel it in my body, but I needed to take it slow and learn in a
way that I could understand. I hadn't had the opportunity to take dance
classes until I was an adult. (I married at age 17) I was still a child
myself, raising my children and taking care of others was the role I
choose for myself.
When I met this male
instructor, I was around 42. Little did I know this is where my journey
really begins. He gently lead the way. Patiently guiding, teaching,
listening and sharing. Giving me the space I needed in order to grow.
Teaching in a language that I could understand. Guiding me to find my
self-confidence. He knew it was inside me, but he knew I needed to
discover it, too.
A second and third
person showed up into my life, as well. All under the same roof and in
the same space. I was beginning to place my trust in those who where
sent to help show me that there is another way to live. When they spoke
to me, it was like they were speaking to me in another language. It felt
strange, foreign and unknown. My body felt the excitement, but still my
body was feeling fear of the unknown. My life would continue to move
forward. I took a chance, trusted and decided to do whatever I needed to
do, because I was excited! I found something that truly excited me, so I
was willing to put in the time and do whatever I needed to to
accomplish my goal.
The second person that
came into my life, was loving and supportive. She gave me an
assignment. I was to journal about feeling Trapped at some time of my
life. This assignment spoke to me, as I have felt trapped my entire
life. I had no idea about the background of this individuals work. (To
learn more about BodyDialogue visit www.bodydialogues.com/philosophy.html) I
accepted the assignment and I took a chance. Then I discovered an
important part of me that I had never recognized before. I was
attempting to control others around me. It was what I would call "loving
control"-yet is done out of fear as well as love. It was done out of
fear and love. Fear from what I had endured in my early years of life.
This was the beginning of a breakthrough.
A third person came along and I invited her into my life. I purchased her book A Left-Brain Thinker On A Right-Brain Journey www.nancyrdaly.com.
The work that we shared was one of growth and disbelief. Control was
still part of my life. I had desires and I wanted to be at the place
that I wanted to be, now! It was going to be on my time, not your time. I
was in control, because it was my life! Not realizing, still unaware.
She, too, had planted a seed.
Stage Four of My Healing Process: Another invitation comes my way. I’m heading to Massachusetts on a scholarship.
Unsure of what will happen when I get there. I’m taking a chance. I’m
letting go of control. I have no clue. I’m taking a chance. I asked my
husband to give me his support as I embark on the unknown. My desire was
to take a trip with my husband. Yet, the trip I thought we would be
taking together, did not include him. This trip was for me. He
sends me off, not knowing himself what will take place during that week
while I’m away. This will be the first time I experience being detached
from the ones I had controlled and loved so much. To my surprise this
work would change my life forever. I worked on healing old wounds and,
for the first time, I realized I needed to let go. I needed to let go of
all the things that are not in my control. I discovered that each
person is on their own journey in life and I cannot control what is
theirs. What amazing work! The Marion Woodman Foundation’s work is powerful and I’m proud to have received this unexpected gift that has helped me heal and has changed my life forever.
scholarship comes my way a few weeks later from a White Belt Nia
graduate who wants to share love of Nia with Central Florida. I received
the gift of mind, body, dance, fitness, which is known as Nia Technique.
Nia gives me continued healing, health and happiness that I need each
and everyday and helps enrich my total body and self. There is no
greater gift than that! I will forever be grateful to the White Belt who
shared this gift with me. I am humbled and honored forever! I will be
sharing the gift I received and I look forward to growing Nia in the
Central Florida area.
Stage Five of My Healing Process: I’m
able to dance through life. I am able to nurture myself. I am able to
place my intention on my desires. I have found the power within myself
to take a chance. I can make a commitment to whatever I choose. I can
choose the boundaries that I place in my life. This journey of
self-discovery has been incredibly amazing. I no longer feel trapped. I
have free will to choose. I can choose to connect with others or
disconnect from them. I am continuing to discover that no matter what
happens in life I can choose to ride the wave of life, with ease.
Knowing that what I’m going through will help bring me to a new place in
my life. I do not know where this will lead me and that is fine with
me. I have opened the door for those who wish to come into my life,
whether they have come to assist me, or if I have come to assist them or
if we have come together to just enjoy this time together. I am able to
express my desires without placing a time line on when and how it
should happen. I am able to move forward in life without looking back.
No regrets, just gratitude to all who have come into my life in the
past, the present, and those who have yet to enter into my life. May I
be an example to anyone who has come from a trapped place in
their life, who have felt or still feel like they carry a dark cloud
over their head. If you carry sad emotions like I have felt in the early
days, know that if you choose to make changes, an amazing world awaits
you. You don't have to feel like a victim in life. You can choose, if
you're willing to do the work along the way and to be open to the
unknown. The end goal is not whether or not I become a professional
dancer or not, it is what I have learned along the way! What's waiting for YOU!
have undergone a beautiful transformation over several years. Like the
stages a butterfly goes through or like the stages humans go through as
we move from childhood to adulthood. My spiritual self has gone through
stages of development, too, and I will be continuing this journey of
transformation. Who knows how long this transformation will continue? I
am open to whatever awaits me!
focuses on the Five Stages of Self-Healing as well. I feel a personal
connection with the Nia Fives Stages principles because I went through
my own personal transformation, and through my own stages of
To learn more about Nia's Five Stages of Self-Healing Go to www.NiaNow.com and look under Nia Education and click on Nia 5 Stages to read more.
You can also read more about The Five Stages of Self-Healing through The Nia Technique Book by Debbie Rosas
Stewart and Carlos AyaRosas, or find a Licensed Five Stages of Self-Healing Instructor in your area by visiting www.NiaNow.com